hmmmm. my goodness, how things slip from one’s mind. i haven’t written a word in here in some time.
much has been happening, and continues to happen. i shall remain committed, for the most part, to not just using this as an update on my own pathetic life, and i hold to that.
G-D is good. HE shall increase, and i will decrease. HE is showing me a lot, more and more all the time, which is what i came to nashville for, i suppose. some things:
-i am broken in ways i thought i had fixed. not so. but i’ve been learning about healing. and going through the process. justice. reclaiming parts of me that i had given away.
-G-D is real, regardless of whether i believe it or not. HE is not a conditional god.
-friends at this point are not merely convenience. they are a necessity.
-beehives. root systems. community.
-Hebrews 3:13-14 “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first.”
-if someone could just tell me what being a man is, i would appreciate it. twelve steps? no? okay.
i’m floored by these past several months. sometimes i feel like the boy in the violent bear it away, and any moment now the heavens are going to open up and a pillar of fire is going to descend and burn my soul clean. yet i feel the old ways creeping up my spine constantly. lethargy. complacency. lust. jealousy. i’m hoping this isn’t a situation where the pendulum is just swinging farther out each time.
father G-D, protect me and keep me. show yourself to me. let me here your voice, and KNOW that it’s you speaking. amen.
oh, and this is done:
here’s a song that didn’t make it onto the record [right click to download]: